From my newest book:
The. Art of Timeless Étiquette, Graceful Dining Manners, & Afternoon Tea
Since the dawn of time, social skills, manners, and rules have existed so societies could cooperate and survive. In man’s early efforts to interact smoothly with others, he created ways to make life easier and more pleasant. In doing so, certain practices developed for all aspects of life. While table manners were probably low on a long list of priorities, the chief focus was on sustenance for survival.
Eating implements and utensils evolved mainly out of necessity, not fashion.
When fire became a means to cook foods, burned fingers surely led to the employment of sticks, shells, animal bones, and whatever else was handy for bringing the food to one’s mouth. Sometimes a stick fastened to a shell allowed for a longer reach or protection from steam if a liquid was hot. Animal horns from sheep and goats also functioned as vessels for liquid. These early utensils did not last very long and were eventually replaced by other suitable items with the development of copper and other malleable materials.
Though evidence shows forks were used throughout early history and during the Roman Empire, the Dark Ages in Europe brought many changes, including the abandonment of forks andspoonsfordining. Instead, double-edged knives, fingers, cupped hands, and hollowed- out trenchers (a primitive plate made of dried bread) came into use by the majority of Western Europe.
Forks and spoons remained in use in the Middle East and Africa though more commonly for serving purposes. Chopsticks were favored by Asian cultures. Dining with one’s hands, however, remained a popular method among the more primitive societies.
Soups and broths were drunk from saucers and bowls. Within time, bread trenchers were replaced by wood, pewter, and porcelain tableware depending on the household and family budget. While eating, pinkie fingers were extended and kept away from the greasy foods so they could be used for dipping into expensive spices.
By 1533, Catherine de Medici of Italy brought several dozen small dining forks with her when she arrived in France to marry HenryII. She was the first notable to have used forks as eating utensils in Western Europe. Considered an oddity at first, the fork slowly became popularized in European courts. Silver utensils of all sorts along with Chinese-inspired tableware were created for the wealthy.
As table manners evolved throughout Europe and with more foods available, larger and more extensive sets of silver were created for the table. By the mid-eighteen hundreds silver electroplating made utensils affordable for the growing middle classes of Europe and America. Silver-plated utensils and sterling dining implements were marketed as “heirlooms of the future.”
These were the luxury items every very household needed and could be passed down to future generations. Every food item soon had its own utensil.
During the Victorian Era, hosts and hostesses became fond of highly specialized and elaborately decorated flatware. Numerous styles of ice-cream forks, corn scrapers, orange spoons, and mango forks were created. Implements were designed specifically for serving olives, peas, baked potatoes, berries, and for tinned fish such as sardines and herring. Breadwas served with specifically designed forks. Even crackers had their own scoop-like serving spoons. Pickled foods were served with ornately adorned forks, spears and tongs along with pickle castors.
The finest of dining became an event with silver utensils flanking place settings of beautiful porcelain and crystal. These were the items that separated the wealthy of society from those not so fortunate. The expression, “one knows the correct fork to use,” suddenly became synonymous with being well mannered, though one had little to do with the other. It was simply society’s way of distinguishing between classes.
The late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries also saw a greater influx of reading material for the everyday homemaker and businessman on how to avoid social faux pas in everyday life. Numerous popular books on étiquette, dress, culture, and decorum came from society mavens and gents determined to spread the word on proper decorum. Books also covered the dyeing of fabrics, grooming tips, color coordination for skin tone, hair color, dress color, and even palmreading—a favorite Victorian pastime for women. Many books included advice on greeting heads of state and European royalty.
By the late nineteen hundreds, society in the presumed “civilized” world began to accept a more relaxed standard of manners which has continued up to today. However, though it is known that invitations require a response and that the appropriateness of one’s dress is still a factor in how others view us, modern society still has the need and is still interested when it comes to étiquette and manners. Fortunately, over the years, books have been written on étiquette that encompass not only the acceptable customs from the past but also allow for new customs resulting from the leaps taken in technology and the changes which have taken place.
Enjoy!
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